The day I realized that I have no enemies in this world was in retrospect one of the most important days of my life.
It wasn't that long ago, sometime in the summer of 2007. It came as a surprise to me that I hadn't realized it before. I had long ago understood, for instance, that those we imagine to be our enemies are usually not that important to us; those who act to undermine us are not criminals or terrorists but people we live and work with daily, the ones who envy us our jobs, our things, our money, our looks, our sexual status. And that's just for white people, in this country. Those counted as 'minorities' will have a host of other local forces arbitrarily marshalled against them. Most, of course, white and otherwise, will do whatever is in their power to undermine those local forces in turn. We constantly suffer at one another's hands; but quite rarely at the hands of those popularly deemed to be the 'enemy'. This is quite notable at such places as the Pentagon, where people use the most part of their energy and effort to work against each other rather than the declared Enemy, just like in any workplace.
When I suddenly became aware that all human beings are stupid (and though some are smart, they are always still stupid about some things), it became impossible to hate anymore. Even people who do things that are appallingly stupid, I see that their stupidity is just a tendency that I find also in myself, magnified. I used to have fits of rage, irrational anger. Sometimes I would smash things. No longer; there doesn't seem to be any point in getting that angry.
What still makes me angry is that the whole human race, with all its marvelous potential, has been made ill by some unknown force, and is very likely to destroy itself without realizing any of this potential. I believe I can assume that no human being has made any legally binding agreement with this unknown force, in spite of all the stories and legends about deals with the devil, etcetera. Certainly no agreement was made to which I was a party! So I'm mad, and I express anger at our stupidity frequently.
But I can no longer feel hatred of anyone, even monster mass-murderers like Hitler, Stalin and Cheney. They are ill in the extreme, probably incurable, and thus pathetic. Maybe all of us are incurable, I don't know. But some are less damaged than others, that is clear.
By the way, Alice Miller has many valuable insights into what creates such human monsters, and I'll be touching on her works a good deal in the future; I think they're among the most important modern books.
Soon I'll write on infotoxin, and how even nature can mislead us, in addition to all the ways we devise to mislead one another. For now, just imagine yourself on a ship in a calm sea on a bright day. Can you always tell the sky from the sea?
Neither can anyone else. We are truly incapable of judging one another with accuracy, yet we have to use such judgements to survive. There are many, many, many dangerous people. Yet not one is an enemy!
Makayla, you're being brought up in a more civilized neighborhood than most USAns, and hopefully you'll come to this conclusion on your own. I realize that just telling you these things won't make you 'see' them. Most people, especially 'my fellow Americans' post-9/11, would read this and merely scoff. Of course there's enemies, they think. Otherwise what are we spending all this money on?
Ah well, I'll repeat what I printed on the Rampant Egos' album Centerpeace: Though your fate be war, may your heart know peace. In spite of everything, walk in beauty, my love. Walk in beauty.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Tweak of Nature
The human race is collectively and universally suffering from an undiagnosed disease.
No human is exempt from it; not the loftiest guru nor the remotest aborigine. (At least that is my belief. I have often hoped someone would prove me wrong on this.)
There are many symptoms that we all share.
We talk to ourselves constantly, mostly about ourselves, for no good reason. We can't stop talking to ourselves if we try! There are techniques to allow the mind to quiet itself, so we can access the innate knowledge of our world that should be natural to us, but they bring only incremental victories. One full second of silence is a big achievement!
We behave as if we are alien to our own planet. This is reflected in many ways, not the least of which is our casual wastefulness and destructiveness. Though we think we are the 'highest' of anmals, we miss signals that the animals never miss. Some years ago, there was an avalanche that wiped out an Indian village in the high Himalayas. A number of the villagers were saved because they were chasing cows, who knew to run away from the village! When the Great Tsunami hit, all the animals that could were seeking higher ground. What were the humans doing? Talking to themselves about themselves.
With this continuous skull-chatter we falsify our own memories. Our conscious memories do not match those of the body. They never do, as far as I know. And as far as I know, with all other conscious animals, conscious memories, body memory and even racial memory (what we call 'instinct') are never in conflict or contradiction.
It is said that we use only 10 percent of our brains. Why? What holds back the other 90 percent from being used? What would it do if we could use it? And why aren't most of you mad about this?
Because we are universally ill, we have no idea what 'human nature' actually is, but speak of it as if it were a curse on us.
It could be a disease, or more like a syndrome or mental illness, or possibly even a parasite - that's Carlos Castaneda's theory, and I find it pretty compelling. It doesn't convince me, though; nothing has convinced me yet. I do appreciate it when I find a thinker who at least understands that we're in serious trouble here. Most of us are in denial, and believe absurdly that we are the 'Crown of Creation', though we're always much more devoted to destroying, or that we are subject to the will of a vast ethereal humanoid entity caled 'God' or 'Bog' who actually gives a damn about our miniscule petty rivalries, and interferes with them, though he's supposed to have created the entire universe in which we are less than a speck.
There is much more to say here, and I'll be referring to all these notions more in the future. To close, I want you to reflect on that speck, and how it is the only speck in that incomprehensible vastness that we know to contain any life. We must know that life is as rare as anything anywhere, and the energies that mold it and drive it are the most complex and sophisticated known. Our world is proof of extropy, not entropy. Yet so many of us constantly speak fearfully of overpopulation, and secretly wish for flood or fire to purge the earth of all those we consider inferior to ourselves....
Wittgenstein, with his brilliant opening, "The world is the only condition", summed up in one unerring blow why most philosophy is nonsense. I am willing to go further and say that we humans are in no condition to judge the world. Any philosophy that ignores or obscures the fact that we are unnecessarily engineering our own imminent extinction is essentially worthless.
No human is exempt from it; not the loftiest guru nor the remotest aborigine. (At least that is my belief. I have often hoped someone would prove me wrong on this.)
There are many symptoms that we all share.
We talk to ourselves constantly, mostly about ourselves, for no good reason. We can't stop talking to ourselves if we try! There are techniques to allow the mind to quiet itself, so we can access the innate knowledge of our world that should be natural to us, but they bring only incremental victories. One full second of silence is a big achievement!
We behave as if we are alien to our own planet. This is reflected in many ways, not the least of which is our casual wastefulness and destructiveness. Though we think we are the 'highest' of anmals, we miss signals that the animals never miss. Some years ago, there was an avalanche that wiped out an Indian village in the high Himalayas. A number of the villagers were saved because they were chasing cows, who knew to run away from the village! When the Great Tsunami hit, all the animals that could were seeking higher ground. What were the humans doing? Talking to themselves about themselves.
With this continuous skull-chatter we falsify our own memories. Our conscious memories do not match those of the body. They never do, as far as I know. And as far as I know, with all other conscious animals, conscious memories, body memory and even racial memory (what we call 'instinct') are never in conflict or contradiction.
It is said that we use only 10 percent of our brains. Why? What holds back the other 90 percent from being used? What would it do if we could use it? And why aren't most of you mad about this?
Because we are universally ill, we have no idea what 'human nature' actually is, but speak of it as if it were a curse on us.
It could be a disease, or more like a syndrome or mental illness, or possibly even a parasite - that's Carlos Castaneda's theory, and I find it pretty compelling. It doesn't convince me, though; nothing has convinced me yet. I do appreciate it when I find a thinker who at least understands that we're in serious trouble here. Most of us are in denial, and believe absurdly that we are the 'Crown of Creation', though we're always much more devoted to destroying, or that we are subject to the will of a vast ethereal humanoid entity caled 'God' or 'Bog' who actually gives a damn about our miniscule petty rivalries, and interferes with them, though he's supposed to have created the entire universe in which we are less than a speck.
There is much more to say here, and I'll be referring to all these notions more in the future. To close, I want you to reflect on that speck, and how it is the only speck in that incomprehensible vastness that we know to contain any life. We must know that life is as rare as anything anywhere, and the energies that mold it and drive it are the most complex and sophisticated known. Our world is proof of extropy, not entropy. Yet so many of us constantly speak fearfully of overpopulation, and secretly wish for flood or fire to purge the earth of all those we consider inferior to ourselves....
Wittgenstein, with his brilliant opening, "The world is the only condition", summed up in one unerring blow why most philosophy is nonsense. I am willing to go further and say that we humans are in no condition to judge the world. Any philosophy that ignores or obscures the fact that we are unnecessarily engineering our own imminent extinction is essentially worthless.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
The Abandoned Mall in the Middle of Nowhere
The new picture at the top of this page is my own, taken at Budaghers, New Mexico recently. Budaghers is a strange place. Here's Wikipedia's take on it:
"Budaghers was a thriving trading post in the 1950s that was started by Joseph and Sally Budagher, who personally knew and traded with the Pueblo Indians in that area. Before Interstate 25 was built, shoppers pulled off the road and filled up with gas or bought Indian rugs, jewelry, pottery and much more. The bar was attached and only a small part of it.
After the freeway came, the New Mexico Outlet Center mall was built in 1993 and closed in 1997. The mall was redeveloped in 2000 as ¡Traditions!, featuring New Mexico products and a cultural center, but it stands empty today.[1][2][3] At the south end of the West Frontage Road in Budaghers stands the Mormon Battalion Monument. It is a rock pillar with a wagon wheel at the top and with an information plaque on the east side. Also in Budaghers is a brightly painted cylindrical metal tank which changes subject from time to time. As of June 2013 it has a quirky skeletal car scene on the south, a misplaced saguaro on the east, and jazz instruments on the north. The west is plain green paint and rust."
Here's a bit about the Harp pictured at the top of this page:
The bearing is from a semi truck.
It was designed and built by Bill Neely and Bob Griesing in June and July of 2000."
I've been stranded at Budaghers twice; the first time, it was a blown radiator hose. I think the bar was still open but the gas station was closed. There was still a payphone at the gas station which I used to call for rescue. The second time I was less lucky; I was driving a little Ford Festiva and just about a hundred yards from the overpass, a computer chip stopped working and so did the car. I spent all night there that time, singing to keep warm. (Richard & Linda Thompson's The Wall of Death is an excellent song for such situations.)
This October, my bandmate Dwight Loop organized an experimental music festival to take place in a suite at the Traditions mall that's been transformed into a studio and performance space. It was the Rampant Egos' 1st actual gig, though we've made 9 albums!
Before the show, I walked around with the camera my friend Devin gave me. I'm no photographer, but this camera is a pretty good one.
To start, I thought the trashcan frame with no trashcan (but with some trash) made an interesting sculpture:
Then there's a cluster of abandoned bird feeders:
"Budaghers was a thriving trading post in the 1950s that was started by Joseph and Sally Budagher, who personally knew and traded with the Pueblo Indians in that area. Before Interstate 25 was built, shoppers pulled off the road and filled up with gas or bought Indian rugs, jewelry, pottery and much more. The bar was attached and only a small part of it.
After the freeway came, the New Mexico Outlet Center mall was built in 1993 and closed in 1997. The mall was redeveloped in 2000 as ¡Traditions!, featuring New Mexico products and a cultural center, but it stands empty today.[1][2][3] At the south end of the West Frontage Road in Budaghers stands the Mormon Battalion Monument. It is a rock pillar with a wagon wheel at the top and with an information plaque on the east side. Also in Budaghers is a brightly painted cylindrical metal tank which changes subject from time to time. As of June 2013 it has a quirky skeletal car scene on the south, a misplaced saguaro on the east, and jazz instruments on the north. The west is plain green paint and rust."
Here's a bit about the Harp pictured at the top of this page:
"An Aeolian Harp is a wind-driven, kinetic instrument. Wind rushing
across the strings create eerie beautiful harmonies, which perfectly
offsets the eerie creepy abandoned shopping mall in which the Harp
resides.
There are 45 strings tuned to C, D, Eb, G, and Bb in three octaves.
24 feet high, weighs about 3000 pounds.
The bearing is from a semi truck.
It was designed and built by Bill Neely and Bob Griesing in June and July of 2000."
I've been stranded at Budaghers twice; the first time, it was a blown radiator hose. I think the bar was still open but the gas station was closed. There was still a payphone at the gas station which I used to call for rescue. The second time I was less lucky; I was driving a little Ford Festiva and just about a hundred yards from the overpass, a computer chip stopped working and so did the car. I spent all night there that time, singing to keep warm. (Richard & Linda Thompson's The Wall of Death is an excellent song for such situations.)
This October, my bandmate Dwight Loop organized an experimental music festival to take place in a suite at the Traditions mall that's been transformed into a studio and performance space. It was the Rampant Egos' 1st actual gig, though we've made 9 albums!
Before the show, I walked around with the camera my friend Devin gave me. I'm no photographer, but this camera is a pretty good one.
To start, I thought the trashcan frame with no trashcan (but with some trash) made an interesting sculpture:
Then there's a cluster of abandoned bird feeders:
Friday, January 3, 2014
A Blog for Makayla
Hello, it's been a while. I had a rough time last year. I and my blog have a new purpose now.
Cluster headaches started to get really bad in August, and I lost the months of September and October completely. Again I thought they were going to kill me, then after weeks of no sleep I wished they would kill me. They didn't though.
Sometime in August, I made up my mind and created a will. I own a house on a small piece of land, and like every other USAn, I have a bunch of stuff. I have no children. What happens to it all?
In my case, it becomes Makayla Suina's problem. Hopefully it'll be to her benefit; that's what I'm banking on. She's now about 10 years old, and now will have a querencia, a safe home place, as a stepping stone at least, to whatever she winds up wanting to do. She's of the Cochiti Tribe, the great-granddaughter of Mary Venada, the first person I met at Cochiti, when I was 4. I'll tell more of the story some other time.
When I write here now, it will be something for Makayla to find later. I kind of wish I'd started a blog back in 2003, when I first thought of it - then there would be much already said, that I don't need to say now. But that imaginary blog never came into existence, so I'll be putting everything in here somewhat haphazardly; new things, old things, philosophy, science, magic, music.
Makayla, in our time evil is so predominant that everyone thinks it's normal. They call it 'human nature'. I have a different perspective, though. Growing up where you are, in a society of people who actually care for one another, you'll have a different way of seeing too. Maybe we can understand each other.
I am no saint, wizard or guru, but I think I understand a few things most people don't, simply because I'm not a materialist. I'll be talking a lot more about this.
I'll try to say important things, since I don't know how much time there is for me. So I'll close this post with what is surely one of the most important things.
I love you, Makayla. When you were a few weeks old I met you, and loved you instantly at first sight. Since you are the future, and I am the past, from now on I'm working for you.
Cluster headaches started to get really bad in August, and I lost the months of September and October completely. Again I thought they were going to kill me, then after weeks of no sleep I wished they would kill me. They didn't though.
Sometime in August, I made up my mind and created a will. I own a house on a small piece of land, and like every other USAn, I have a bunch of stuff. I have no children. What happens to it all?
In my case, it becomes Makayla Suina's problem. Hopefully it'll be to her benefit; that's what I'm banking on. She's now about 10 years old, and now will have a querencia, a safe home place, as a stepping stone at least, to whatever she winds up wanting to do. She's of the Cochiti Tribe, the great-granddaughter of Mary Venada, the first person I met at Cochiti, when I was 4. I'll tell more of the story some other time.
When I write here now, it will be something for Makayla to find later. I kind of wish I'd started a blog back in 2003, when I first thought of it - then there would be much already said, that I don't need to say now. But that imaginary blog never came into existence, so I'll be putting everything in here somewhat haphazardly; new things, old things, philosophy, science, magic, music.
Makayla, in our time evil is so predominant that everyone thinks it's normal. They call it 'human nature'. I have a different perspective, though. Growing up where you are, in a society of people who actually care for one another, you'll have a different way of seeing too. Maybe we can understand each other.
I am no saint, wizard or guru, but I think I understand a few things most people don't, simply because I'm not a materialist. I'll be talking a lot more about this.
I'll try to say important things, since I don't know how much time there is for me. So I'll close this post with what is surely one of the most important things.
I love you, Makayla. When you were a few weeks old I met you, and loved you instantly at first sight. Since you are the future, and I am the past, from now on I'm working for you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)